Love on the Rebound

Love begets love, so goes the saying. However love unrequited sometimes jumps back to another hand. Nothing can be more painful than unreciprocated love and none can be graver than love on rebound.

Over a month ago, I talked to the wife of an architect. She claims to be a constant reader of my column. She asked for our meeting even if we have not been closer than an acquaintance on the Google mails. On the phone she seemed so lively and I felt her sincerity in asking for an appointment that I gave in without second thoughts. We met two days after that in a restaurant just a little outside the city. We can call her Bany (not her real name but she hoped for me to write this).

Without a preamble during our meal, she burst into tears. It puzzled me but, in between sobs, she explained. Her story…

This woman is married to the architect for about twenty years now. They have two children – a college junior and a high school sophomore. Within the early years of their union, she knew all the while that she was not the girl in her husband’s heart when they got married although she was already pregnant. Her husband told her outright during their very first date that he had strong feelings for another girl, Nicel, (not the real name) but it was a case of an unrequited love. At that time too Bany was getting over a lost love. Her former boyfriend had just jilted her. It seemed, she said, that they met at the right time. So, they married believing that they would ultimately fall in love in the end.

Last summer, their family went on a vacation in New Washington, Aklan. Her husband saw the girl he used to have been in love 22 years before. She was with her three children occupying the executive suite located on the upper floor of the resort building where the family of Bany was staying. They’re a day ahead. Bany was told that they’re waiting for her husband to come a week after because he’s coming from Manila yet. Sadly, for Bany, she noticed a great change in her husband. He’s always been on the pool where the family of Nicel often hangs out. Otherwise he’d scamper down the beach catching up with them strolling. Bany confronted him with this but all through their stay there they only quarreled. One good thing was, when Nicel’s husband came, they transferred to another resort. In fairness to Nicel, she was really pretty and friendly but Bany refused to get acquainted with them. Deep down, she was so hurt. She felt that Nicel has taken her husband’s time away from them during that summer retreat of the family. Another thing, she bought several mobile phone SIMs in order to send nasty messages to Nicel who didn’t bother to respond in the same manner. Instead Nicel offered a friendly appointment. This bothered Bany even more because Nicel seemed so confident with herself.

Why then did she want to meet this writer? She wanted to talk to someone who doesn’t know her husband and having read the articles in Trivia about family matters she thought that I may understand her plight. I did.

Incidentally, I know Nicel so well and her husband too. They’re a happy duo and their children are very sociable too. I assured Bany that she has nothing to worry about her husband being taken by Nicel. I informed her also (if it might help) that Nicel’s husband had been her only boyfriend and will always be her one and only love for life. What about those malicious text messages that Bany sent? I assured her that Nicel will understand because she is a family counselor.

I met Nicel last 24th of June on a lunch date with friends. I mentioned the name, Bany, and she got so excited saying that she knows the other lady by name “because she is a college classmate’s wife.” She wished to come across Bany another time so they can be friends rather than be ‘distant and unproductive acquaintances.’

“Well, nothing beats friendship! What God has joined together, let no man part for any reason. Let the wives trust their husbands and husbands must prove themselves to be worthy of their partner’s trust. Today when men find it easy to stray, let the wife’s love be the binding power that holds him back to the family. Let their children be the reminder of the joys they have for having each other. Couples have to strive together to be at peace with each other even while going through the pains of healing of painful memories. They should learn to see beyond the minor mistakes in order to apply forgiveness. You’ll be amazed at the intensity of its magic.” Those were Nicel’s lines.

Insecurities? Oh, forget it. In the lives of couples, unless they went through trying circumstances, their life will be dull. Sometimes there are people who will seek to destroy some union but it is always the couple’s choices and decisions that count. Lest we forget, nothing can harm us if we do not permit them; nothing can hurt us unless we allow it to.

Finally, to the wives and husbands out there… strive for a happier home. Fill it with love for each other and let it overflow outside the small circle of the home to others. Someday, you’ll just find out that you did the right thing. Why wait for Valentine’s Day? Start right now! Say, “I love you…” to your partner. Hahaha! Good luck.