The Joys and Pains of Motherhood

“The hands that rock the cradle, rock the world…”
 Motherhood is the only role of women that can never be exchanged with the men nor can it be bought and never can it be undermined. To be a mother is to give birth to a new life; to nurture it to health and goodness; to challenge it to grow to a balanced proportion in all aspects; and to guide it to be a productive member of the society where it shall belong until a new cycle begins. As mothers carry out their roles, they have to face a lot of choices that may drive them to give up some things they would rather want to do, or they may choose that which they want (like career advancement, going abroad, expanding a business and etc) than do mothering.
I met old pals the other day at the mall and among other things we discussed were what happened after we parted from college – from job hunting then, employment, travels, marriage, business, and motherhood. There is no fitting time for me to share the experience with you than now. So bear with me guys.
In school we used to express our plans for the future and we had to face realities in our individual lives after that. We remembered Grace, known to be my elder sister. She was so vocal about how she wanted to land a job soon then settle and have a family with four or six children. She had gone abroad, and pursued her dream earlier than she wished for but she only had one child from the union. Unfortunately, she was murdered by looters thus leaving her one and only pre-school boy Larry, my hijado) to her sisters to care for. The boy has grown to be a good man. Today, we can only remember what a caring, loving and good mother she was.
Ella was a chemist who went to the US for six years and returned here to marry a childhood friend and be a mother of three boys. Life here in the Philippines was not so good to them financially that she decided to go back to the US barely a month after giving birth to the third child. The children were left to the care of the husband, a farmer, who passed away after about two years. The children were taken to their uncle for care while Ella remained abroad to send them money for their needs. The uncle is her late husband’s only sibling. They were both orphans and Ella is an only child too. The uncle married a city girl and her boys experienced maltreatment every time the uncle is away. Ella never knew how his boys fared because she believed that her money sent monthly was enough to cover up for their needs in her absence. Unfortunately, when she came home three months ago, it was to settle some misdeeds of her eldest child in school. The second boy is into drugs and the third is still in high school, a bit effeminate but is quite okay. According to Ella, “I must have made the wrong choice in the past because of economic needs. My children wanted me to stay for good now. I have savings too and it may be enough for a small business. Do you think that if I stayed, my boys were any different?” 
Lucille was the most carefree among us and she married a bit later. She had a girl in college and two boys in high school who are all on top of their class. She worked as a division head of a reputable bank before but she resigned after giving birth to their second child. She worked full time as wife and mother for many years now and she said, “It was quite hard for me to give up a career at first but soon, I began to discover the joys of a hands-on mother and I got addicted to it. It was not easy to receive visiting friends who, later, would criticize you to be so pale because you have not even a time to powder your nose. Well, there were times too when your husband will forbid you to come to his office with the kids or comment on their former secretary who is flirting in the mobile phone at midnight because that might create a gap between division projects. DUH! I knew it was a temporary role because the kids will grow up too and probably leave us to have a family of their own but looking back and comparing the decision I had… I’ll do it again. The only sad thing about it is, I am not so rich as our other friends and my in-laws think that I am less than all of them who are in the government service. Hmm, who cares?  After all I brought forth a humane man and that’s more than a mountain that labored but brought forth a mice. Honestly, no happiness can equal the joy when my kids take pride in introducing me as ‘my mother, friend, and teacher’ to their friends.”
Indeed, motherhood seems easy but in truth it is a labor of love expecting nothing back. Mothers do what they ought to do and they do it in their own special way, yet, however manner it is done, mothers do it for love. If mothering is bereft of love, then the woman is not a mother at all. The measure is –
“We can only be good as mothers as much as how good we were mothered when we were children”